What is the right path?

Dear God,

Sales has not been very good. Exchange rate has gone down... I have been getting more neutral feedbacks although I have been trying my best. Am I doing something wrong? Is this not the path that is meant for me? I feel really tired now... questioning myself whether I have the strength to continue... whether this is the path that is meant for me... wondering whether I should go back to a full time job...

God, please somehow guide me along the way... show me if I am on the right path, doing what I should be doing... as I have somehow lost faith in myself along the way... feeling tired to my bones...

Thank you God for listening....

Slacking off....

Recently of late, I have been slacking off.... spent little or no time with God... :( Not good not good.... and also not spending time with Joel, reading bible stories to him... not good not good.... why? Hmmm... for no other good reason except the devil of laziness bug had bitten me....

How to kill the lazy bug??

Pray about it loh!!! I also know la... but then, I must have self-discipline... I must have self-discipline...  (chants to myself... again and again)...

God has gone high-tech!!!

I received this sms below from my mum yesterday.... here it is word for word:

Concentrate on this sentence: "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear. Please do not break!

JUST 27 WORDS. GOD OUR FATHER, WALK THROUGH MYHOUSE AND TAKE AWAY ALL MY WORRIES AND ILLNESSES; AND PLEASE WATCH OVER AND HEALMY FAMILY IN JESUS' NAME... AMEN..

This prayer is so powerful. Pass this prayer to 12 people including me. A blessing is coming to you in form of a new job, a house, marriage or financially. Do not break or ask questions. This is a test. Does God come first in your life?

First thing I thought... we normally received emails that ask you to forward it to 10 persons to receive a free iPod... and now we are having sms that ask you to forward it on too??? And we are supposed to pass it on so that we get God's blessings??? God has gone high-tech!!! WAH!!!

Have faith!!!

When things starts to go wrong, have faith... and pray!

But this is when we are tested most.... having faith! Recently for the past 2 months, my business has been bad.. real bad that I either only managed to break even.... or make a loss... and therefore, I had to dip into my savings to pay off the commitments like insurance, petrol (I no need to eat, but car need to eat loh...), child care, school fees etc etc... Now, you might be asking... what is my hubby paying for then? Eh, he bears a huge part of our household expenses lar... like the housing loan (that is the huge amount).... utility bills, household expenses (like food, groceries, toileteries, milk powder, pampers... geddit???) So, if you are the one managing the household finances, you can imagine what the amount can come up to...

Anyway, I really pray that my business will pick up real soon.... and pick up a lot!!! Cos I really need the money... that is my only income now....

So, I really offer this little problem of mine to God and ask Him to help me through this rough financial patch... and although I am still losing money, after praying, I don't feel so panicky.... really... seems like God is telling me... I will provide... have faith!!!

So, I will try to have faith and do my best... and I believe that God will do the rest... somehow, some way.... Have faith!!!

Fanatical Christian???

Well, although I write this blog, fanatic I am not. I met Christians before who are really into the extreme. To me, I feel that they are living in their own little bubble. Their own little world. And I think that is not good.

I am just a normal, average person.... tempted by temptations... and with my own weaknesses. And unlike fanatical Christians that I meet, they will quote Bible verses, telling people why should it be this way or that way.. And also, refusing to touch the Taoist prayer items (like joss sticks, paper money etc etc)... I mean not asking them to use these items to pray... well, sometimes mainly just helping out at home as family members are non-believers... And to these fanatics, to even touch them is a sin??? OK... I don't get that... Also what is worse is they refuse to eat food that has been served as prayers during Taoist rituals... To me, food is food... If you don't eat them, don't tell me wasting them is a better way??? Wasting food is a sin OK? Well, it is not one of the 10 commandments... but then, there are lots of people around the world that goes hungry and does not have enough food to eat... but these fanatics would prefer to let the food go to waste than eat them. Go figure....

Maybe there should have been a 11th Commandment saying "Thou shalt not waste food"...

I believe that what is important is your heart and what goes on within you in your life... and not on "material" things like whether or not the items has been used/is going to be used for Taoist rituals. Or even quoting Bible verses here and there... After all, if you do not practice what you are quoting, what's the use?

Hehe... and I do confess that I get really p***ed off with these Bible quoters... I sure do not know my Bible verses... and what makes it so great that you can quote it and tell me that it is from which chapter and which verse??? *** Rolls my eyes *** Oh.. the reason why it p***se me off is because these Bible quoters makes me feel inadequate and so small.... Sheeessshhh... like I am no good and should immediately take up my Bible and memorise it from cover to cover...

Anyway, I am just ranting here :) You can agree with me or don't agree with me... Does not matter... After all, everyone is entitled to their opinion....

Canaan Home

I was so glad that I found this place which was introduced by Teacher Lisa (soon to be Joel's piano teacher)... A long time ago, when I wanted to purchase Christian books and CDs, I will normally go to Salvation Book Store. Salvation Book Store has since closed down in Melaka. Recently, Glad Sounds has opened in Dataran Pahlawan. But it is in a very jammed up area. Also, it is about 20 minutes drive away (without jam). So, when I was introduced to this place, I decided to check it out. It is just located in the next taman (or housing estate), which I need to pass by every day to access the main road. And it is so convenient for me... as it is only 2 minutes drive away!

This place is called Canaan Home.... run by Uncle Nelson, a converted Christian...

He runs it from his home... He has a room with an outside access door where he sells all Christian books, CDs, gifts etc etc... LOVELY!!!

Uncle Nelson was very friendly and he recommended books that he thinks is suitable. He also shared with me the story on his conversion. It seems that he was not a believer although his wife is a Christian. He does not go to church. But one strange day, when he was at work, suddenly he felt the urge to leave early and go home to accompany his wife to church. And since then he has not looked back.... It took him more than 10 years to believe... and according to Uncle Nelson, his wife prayed for him every single day... Uncle Nelson's message to me here is to Keep on Praying... Prayers are powerful. God does not promise that things will happen immediately but it will... if we keep on praying and have faith...

Anyway, I was actually looking for some kid's Bible story books. And although the selection is limited, it is enough for me. And in the end I chose this book for Joel...

I like this book as it is an interactive book meant for an adult to share with a child. It contains little bubbles of words to engage the child interactively. For example, during the creation of earth, there is a little bubble which asks the child to close his eyes and hold his breath... Shhhhhh.... too mimic the nothingness that was there before God made earth.... The English is very simple and at age 5 he can read most of the words in the book himself already (or maybe Joel is now a good reader??). I have been reading and sharing this book with Joel for the past few days and so far he enjoys it. I hope that he will come to learn to love God and live out the good values that God teach us.

I have also bought a prayer book for kids... I have no problem teaching Joel English, Bahasa, Mandarin, Mathematics or guide him in his homework... but to teach him to pray is a totally new thing for me as it deals with the intangibles... how do you explain God to a 5 year old child and expect him to understand and pray to something that he is not able to comprehend?? I need guidance myself..  and so I purchased this book...

I have not started out on this yet as I hope to engage him through the bible stories first... and take it slow.... but I hope that I am able to teach him in a more meaningful way than I was taught when I was a kid. All I remember is that I was asked to memorise The Lord's Prayer - Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be etc etc... without even knowing what it means... until very much later... So pray for me that I am on the right track here with Joel....

For myself, I got myself this book as I find my faith wavering easily.... I took it slow and savour every word... and try to pray as I read this book...

So far, I find it really good for me....  and I hope to be closer to God as I progress....

And lastly, I can't resist buying these!!! One for Joel (he uses it as a bookmark now in his bible story book, one for Isabel (will give to her when she starts reading) and one for myself!

Cup is too full???

What a co-incidence... one of the blogs that I read is The Obnoxious 5xmom. And just after I posted my previous post of Is your cup full? I saw this post on Full Cup Danger... Strange coincidence?